ANA - On Fertility and the Shooting that Changed Her Life

“Every morning when I say goodbye to my children, I make a mental promise that I will make it home safely.” A Working Mamacita is a Guerrera and a chameleon. We are as passionate about raising our families as we are about building our careers. No matter the challenges we face, we walk through them with grace even if they break us to our core. Our June Mamacita, Ana, has faced many obstacles personally and professionally. Still, even through such adversity, she remains grateful and continues to strive to make a positive impact in her community.

As we so rapidly have entered the month that symbolizes growth and a time for fertility, we find it fitting to highlight the story of this Mamacita who embodies strength and vitality. Ana is a Mamacita of two, a Law Enforcement Officer, and an aspiring Baker. Working Mamacitas, thanks you, Ana, for your bravery and for allowing us to share your inspirational story.

IN HER OWN WORDS - as narrated to Gisset

My road to Mamacitahood was not an easy one. I had always dreamt of becoming a Mamacita and was excited about the possibilities. Once my husband and I were ready, we found that it would be a bit more complicated for us. At one point, we questioned if parenthood was going to be in our future because we struggled with infertility for two years. This was a challenging time for me because the thought of not being able to conceive crushed me. After many failed attempts, we decided to see a doctor and undergo testing to get to the root of the problem. Since all of the tests I had done came back normal, my doctor suggested I have a laparoscopy to evaluate further what was causing my infertility issue. The procedure showed that I suffered from endometriosis. At that time, I didn’t know what this meant. Still, I discovered that endometriosis occurs when tissue similar to the inner lining of the uterus is found outside its normal location, where the tissue should not be. It could be difficult for women who suffer from this condition to become pregnant, which was the case for me. My doctor believed that removing the scar tissue that surrounded my uterus would help me conceive. The following month, on Mother’s Day 2005, I found out the procedure was a success, and I was pregnant with our first son. The following year, we conceived our second son without any fertility treatments. 

I never told my family or friends that I had infertility. At that time, I felt too ashamed to share with others that I possibly wouldn’t be able to conceive a baby. It was excruciating when others asked me if and when we were going to have a baby. I realize now that this was a burden I didn’t have to carry alone because once I did start talking about it, other women shared their fertility struggles with me. Even my dad shared that his sisters had infertility when they tried to conceive. Now, I am vocal about my experience and urge other women who experience infertility issues to speak with their doctor about endometriosis. I’ve discovered that when we start talking about our experiences, most of the time, we learn that we are not alone in our struggles.

As I transitioned to life as a Mamacita, my biggest challenge was balancing work and home life. I had a one and two-year-old when I started patrol training. I went from being home with them every night and tucking them into bed to working nights and the graveyard shift. I missed out on milestones, special events, and holidays with my family. Even though I knew what I was doing would benefit my family, guilt was a daily emotion, and I grieved all I was missing out on. As my children grew and my work schedule changed, I had the opportunity to spend more time with my family. For several years, my husband and I were on opposite schedules; we would see each other only in passing. Family time was rare, and our relationship took on a heavy load. We are both on the same schedules now and never take for granted all the time we spend together. My husband and I work in law enforcement, which has helped our relationship survive the challenges of having this career. We are aware of the mental and physical demands this job comes with and makes it easier for us to adjust to change.

When I decided to pursue law enforcement, I did so because I wanted to serve my community and help others. Throughout my career, I have been part of many triumphs and tragedies, all of which have impacted my life. But none more than one particular event that I will remember forever. On the morning of November 14, 2019, I arrived at the station ready to start my shift. Just after 7:30 am, we received a call of an active shooter at Saugus High School in Santa Clarita, California. My partner and I rushed to our vehicle and headed to the school. During our drive, we were listening to what was being reported on the radio. There was so much information being relayed from other officers who were at the scene. For the first time in my career, I knew this wasn’t going to be our average call. At first, we believed there was more than one shooter. As we drove there, I could only think about what I was going to do as soon as we hit the ground - would we be shot at as soon as we ran out of our vehicles, how many kids would we be able to save, how many were dead and injured. It was unlike anything we ever dealt with.

As we arrived at the school, we noticed the barrage of police officers, even off-duty officers who lived in the area reported to the scene to help when the news broke out. As we ran up to where the shooter had been, we noticed a boy on the ground. I stopped to make sure he didn’t need medical assistance, and luckily, he was okay. At this time, we learned the shooter had taken his life and were tasked to gather all the kids around and stay with them until their families picked them up. Teachers and students were scared, frantic, and emotional. We had to work up the courage to keep ourselves together to support each of these kids’ needed at that time. Due to the chaos, many of the kids had a hard time getting ahold of their parents. My partner and I reached out to each of their parents and assured them that their children were safe. I explained that I, too, was a Mamacita, and I would watch over their kids as if they were my own. I know this helped ease the panic each parent was feeling at that moment. While taking care of other people’s children, I was worried about my own. I phoned them to make sure they were okay, and even though they were, I felt helpless because I wasn’t there to comfort them. That night when I got home, I couldn’t help but hold them tight, and I cried for hours. After that day, I couldn’t talk about the incident without weeping for weeks, and until this day, I feel overwhelmed with emotion when it crosses my mind. 

Although I have a few more years of service with my department, I am now looking forward to my retirement. The physical and mental toll of the job takes a beating, and I had to find an outlet to relieve my stress in baking. I taught myself how to make custom sugar cookies and always bake for our family gatherings. Once I retire, I would like to pursue baking as my second act. I also plan to travel. I’ve seen life be taken away far too soon and have learned that it is too short not to enjoy the ride and all the blessings that come with it.  

For all the Mamacitas out there, no matter how difficult life gets, always focus on the positive. Appreciate the little things in life and those around you. Follow your dreams; your hard work is worth it.

As you can see, Ana is a mighty fierce Mamacita. She is showing us that the spirit of a Mamacita protege mas de lo que es solo suyo.

Xoxo - G