Alma - Ph.D. Embodying Change

ALMA - Ph.D. Embodying Change

The one common goal all of us Mamacitas share is raising healthy children. Getting there doesn't just come from what we are feeding their bodies, but also what we are feeding their minds. For a Mamacita, this includes learning to heal and breaking her own generational cycles to fulfill this goal. Good or bad, we often parent based on what we know or what we believe to be true, even if it's not. Our February Mamacita, Alma, learned how to break the cyclical traumas she experienced as a child, and how not to pass them onto her children. Through healing, she found that she held the power not to repeat the same cycles.

Alma is a Mamacita of two, a College Advisor, a Research Manager, and Co-Host of The Red Couch Podcast. She holds a Bachelor's in Psychology from UCLA, a Master's in Counseling from CSUN, and a Ph.D. in Education from UC Irvine. As we enter the blissful month of love, we highlight this story of a Mamacita who didn't fall victim to her circumstances. Instead, she embodied change, fought for self-discovery and self-love. Working Mamacitas, thanks you, Alma, for your wisdom and for allowing us to share your inspirational story.

IN HER OWN WORDS - as narrated to Gisset

When I was born, my parents were young; they didn't have many resources and split up when I was three years old. My mama decided it was best if I moved in with my grandparents to help raise me. At that time, my grandparents lived in Acapulco, Mexico, and it is where I spent the majority of my early childhood. Since my parents weren't around, I started to develop a deep sense of longing for belonging and wondered if I was enough. At that time, I believed my parents had abandoned me. Their abandonment created a metaphysical lift with my psyche, and I started to question all the world's struggles, including my own. I wondered why God would allow this to happen, especially to children, and only focused on what I thought he had taken from me instead of what he had put in my life, such as my grandparents and various mentors. It took me years to realize how the people who did show up for me helped fill the brokenness I grew up feeling. Those traumas were highlighted when I gave birth to my first daughter as a single Mamacita in my mid-20's.

I wanted to be a mother of multiple children because I value big families and traditions. Since I decided to get pregnant and had my first child as a single Mamacita, I quickly realized how much work it took to be a good parent. I grew up in a home where we believed we couldn't make changes in our lives, and we were products of our circumstances. I was determined not to pass these traumas onto my child and worked towards that goal. At that time, I was completing my Master's program and was working with little time for much else except raising my daughter. I missed out on so much of my daughter's childhood because I worked so hard to build a good life for us. I was less forgiving, and it wasn't until years later I realized the damage I was causing my daughter and myself. My education helped bridge the gap between what I learned as a child and what type of parent I wanted to become. I used a lot of the lessons I learned and implemented them into my own life. They taught me how to nurture my psyche, embody change, and helped ease my experience when I had my second child.

My second daughter was born ten years later. My life was so different when she was born, I was married and had a partner to raise our daughters. By that time, I had completed my education and was more present in my daughters' lives. Even though I was much wiser when my second was born, I faced different struggles such as postpartum depression, less energy to keep up with her needs, and started to mourn life with a teenage daughter who is finding her way and needs me less. It was two extremes with nothing in between. Through the years, I never stopped working on my healing and am well enough to teach them what I've learned. I've even implemented these lessons in my professional life.  

Currently, I am a College Advisor and Research Manager for a Non-Profit Organization. All the work I do is motivated by my desire to break barriers, create community and normalize the lives of people who have not often been able to exist in individual spaces. For instance, higher education for first-generation students, therapy for people of faith, and social justice. I teach my students coping skills and how to be successful in whatever endeavors they pursue. I take the approach that their academic selves are only a small sliver of who they are as human beings. They learn to trust their journeys without feeling held back from the expectations society sets for them. Success will be understood in many different ways; the sacrifice and journeys will all be different. Learning what we perceive to be a success for our beings is the ultimate lesson.

A few years ago, my husband was offered the opportunity to host a podcast and invited me to be his co-host. After some motivation, I decided to join in and launched The Red Couch Podcast to spread the message about faith, social justice, and mental health. The podcast helped my skills as a public speaker and allowed me to become a community leader. It also opened up many doors that I am now pursuing. I recently co-founded an organization called The Prickly Pear Collective and will soon launch a podcast of the same name. Our mission is to bring together the concept of community, mental health, and faith to start conversations that are hard to talk about genuinely. I also signed with a literary agent and am working on writing my first book. My book will focus on how the revolution starts at home and how we can work towards a more healed and just world. I am so excited about this because I want people to be more empowered, knowing they can make a difference and how their struggles and highlights will serve a purpose through their journeys.

One of my favorite analogies about life is seeing ourselves as juggling glass and plastic balls in the air. The glass balls will have the most significant impact, and the plastic balls will teach minor lessons. Dropping some of the plastic balls won't hurt us much, but dropping the glass ones will cause them to break, cannot be fixed, or bounce back as quickly. There will always be glass balls that will break in life, and the impact will be painful; learning forgiveness is essential as long as there is accountability.

For all the Mamacitas out there, find your magic and write your own story. Show us how you dance, love yourself and others. When you fall, allow others to see and learn, and pass down the torch of a life fully lived.

As you can see, Alma is just another example of a fierce Mamacita. She is showing us how we don't have to be products of our background or circumstances. Through healing and growth, she reminds us that we can be the stuff of extraordinary adventure. To learn more about Alma, click here.

Xoxo - G