Wendy - Raising Awareness for the Fight Against Childhood Cancer
At birth, I believe every Mamacita pledges to love, care for and protect our baby the moment we hold them in our arms for the first time. As our children grow, we do our best to stick to this promise, especially when they get sick. We all know this happens far too frequently in the early years, but with some love and a little TLC, our babies are back to their usual selves in no time. Unfortunately, sometimes it is not the common cold or flu; instead, they are diagnosed with something more serious. For our March Mamacita, Wendy, her world was turned upside down after her son was diagnosed with cancer. A disease she later found is far too common in young children.
Today, on International Women’s Day, we highlight the story of a Mamacita who kept her head up high even as her soul broke in pieces as she witnessed her child embark on a painful journey to survive. Along with her son, she has pledged to raise awareness against this terrible disease. Wendy is a Mamacita of two and a Principal Accountant for a Real Estate Firm. She holds a Bachelor’s Degree in Accounting from Cal Lutheran University. Working Mamacitas, thanks you, Wendy, for your strength and for allowing us to share your heartfelt story.
IN HER OWN WORDS - as narrated to Gisset
My transition to motherhood was a bit shocking. No one really spoke to me about the immediate aftermath of childbirth and the emotional and physical effects on a Mamacita, especially a new one. At the same time, my experience was positive and beautiful because I had so much support from my family. My first was an easy baby. She was calm, happy, and rarely cried. As a toddler, she mimicked me in everything I did, always with a warm smile on her face. After the traumatic sleep-deprived newborn stage, she made Mamacitahood feel so easy, and I believed my experience would be the same or similar once my second was born. When my son was born, I quickly discovered this experience would be the complete opposite. He cried for hours through the nights as nothing we tried would console him. So I cried with him every night for the first few months. It was really tough because I didn’t know how to help my baby boy. Still, I powered through to be present for my daughter and the family. He eventually became the happy child we all know. Life was incredible, and my family and I moved through it seamlessly.
The first seven years of Mamacitahood were perfect. The kids were happy all the time. Strangely, I don’t remember either of them ever having a common cold or seasonal flu. For me, life couldn’t get any better, but things changed, and our lives were turned upside down when our daughter was seven, and our son was four. I had just arrived home from Mexico because my mother had suffered a brain aneurysm and needed immediate surgery. I had flown over to provide my support. Thankfully, my mother survived and was on her way to recovery. When I came home, my baby boy was not feeling well. Both lymph nodes in his throat were significantly enlarged, and he was experiencing prolonged high-temperature fevers. The Tylenol and Motrin would help for a day or two, and then the fevers would return. He could not swallow food or liquid and was becoming lethargic. He was admitted several times to the hospital to be monitored, and he underwent two surgeries to remove and biopsy a portion of the lymph nodes. But we had no answers. His blood work and lab results were clean and showed no signs of anything malignant or alarming. A team of infectious disease doctors and scientists couldn’t pinpoint what was happening to him. My once happy and energetic 4-year-old boy was now several pounds underweight, feeling unending pain in his throat, burning up from fever, and lying motionless in a bed, at the mercy of the hospital professionals. Everyone was at a loss.
On February 14, 2014, after six months of suffering unexplainable high temperatures, several trips to the hospital, surgeries, and numerous ineffective lab results, my sweet boy was diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. ALL is cancer found in the blood and bone marrow that progresses rapidly if not treated and is most commonly found in children. This was the most tragic news we could have received, a dreadful nightmare for any parent. His medical team worked fast after we received his diagnosis. My son was given a four-year treatment plan, which consisted of daily medications and weekly chemotherapy, which was injected via a port. The chemo he was given was so dangerous to the touch that the nurses had to cover up from head to toe for protection. Yet, it was injected into my son’s body. He also underwent quarterly lumbar punctures to collect cerebral spinal fluid to test for Leukemia cells. These were hard days because our son could not eat before this procedure, and every time he woke, he would cry for hours. This broke me, and all I could do was comfort my little guy, praying that all his suffering was not in vain.
We stuck together through those years, even as our lives were altered dramatically. We had to be extremely careful not to expose my son to anything that would compromise his immune system further and made many sacrifices. Thinking back, I feel like our family merely existed, moving through the motions of everyday life. In front of the kids, we were the same normal, hopeful, optimistic, strong parents they knew, but in reality, I struggled to survive and fought not to spiral into depression. I constantly reminded myself to be strong for my two babies and begged God for my son’s life. Our son remained strong. Even on his most challenging days when he was too weak to walk to the bathroom, he would repeat to himself, “I’m going to be okay, and tomorrow will be better.” He never felt sorry for himself and found comfort in prayer. He prayed for his family, friends, and other children suffering from cancer. He would then pray for himself and asked God for the strength he needed to survive. Life was so surreal back then.
Specific memories from that time are etched in my brain. Like getting the news on Valentine’s Day from the Oncologist that it was cancer, my body started shaking uncontrollably while my ex-husband held me up as he tried to process the news himself. The time at the hospital pharmacy where we picked up our son’s array of medications for the first time, including the daily dose of chemotherapy. The compassion in the pharmacist’s eyes as she tried to remain professional while explaining the directions. After a while, all sounds escaped me, and I could only see her mouth moving without hearing her. Or when my son had to undergo surgery for the second time to biopsy his enlarged lymph nodes on his neck. He died on the operating table that day from a nicked carotid artery and was brought back to us by the grace of God. I distinctly remember the “Code Blue” announcement and what looked like dark, blurry human figures running past us as we sat right outside the operating room’s doors. Seeing the terrifying sight of our surgeon walking towards us, still soaked in my son’s blood. I’ve never had so many out-of-body experiences like the ones I had during those years.
Even while our lives changed drastically, we did our best to keep normalcy in our lives, especially for our children. I remained a working Mamacita and was lucky to have a supportive employer who provided me the flexibility to alter my schedule to be there for my son. We had support all around us; our family, friends, and employers came together to help us. Both of my kids were surrounded by so much love and attention. Even when people didn’t know what to say or how to provide comfort, it was peaceful to have someone there to distract me from reality. Everyone around us wanted to help in any way they could. Someone even nominated our son for a wish through the Make-A-Wish Foundation. My ex-husband and I had previously mentioned this to our boy, but he never wanted us to do it because he preferred other kids get their wish first. Now that he had been granted a wish, he accepted. When asked if he could have one wish, anything he wanted, what would it be? His answer was - time, but after being asked for a material wish, he decided he would love to go on a vacation, and this was granted. The Make-A-Wish Foundation sent our family on an all-expense paid Disney Cruise to the Bahamas for a week. It was the ultimate wish and an escape our family desperately needed.
My son was nine years old when he finally finished his last chemo treatment and went in for surgery to remove his port. He was monitored closely for the next year to see how his body would do without the chemo. During one of our routine check-ups, my son was declared a “cancer survivor” after the doctors found no cancer blasts in his blood at the age of ten. We were delighted to receive the news. My son laughed, and I cried. We proceeded to call our whole family to share the news. My son is now 13 years old. He is strong, intelligent, happy, and full of life with a long list of goals he plans to achieve in his lifetime. One important goal is to raise awareness and help those suffering from cancer. I will make sure this happens when he’s ready. Cancer might have taken a lot from our family, especially my son, but what it didn’t do was take my son’s will to live. To dream beyond his years and have goals set until he grows old in age. Both of my children navigated this experience so eloquently, and they inspire me every day. We can learn so much from our children, and I soak in every lesson they throw my way.
I put a pause on my goals while caring for my son, but now that both my children are teenagers and a bit more self-sufficient, I’ve committed to making more time for myself without feeling guilty. Recently, I was accepted into the EMBA program at Cal Lutheran University to pursue my Executive MBA degree, which I plan to continue. I would love to get back to running full marathons. I ran the last one just after my son was diagnosed, and I’m ready to do that again. I am excited because my daughter wants to join in on the fun and run with me. I know my son will cheer us on along the sidelines when we do. Lastly, I plan to flourish and grow my professional career. I’ve learned that life can change in a heartbeat, and every day needs to be lived as if it were our last.
For all the Mamacitas out there – make time for you. Times will undoubtedly get tough, and it’s imperative to take care of yourself. Carve the time to go on that jog, attend the yoga class or schedule the mani/pedi. You deserve it; life is too short; enjoy it as best you can.
As you can see, Wendy is another incredibly fierce Mamacita. She is showing us that the future will be brighter even after enduring hard times. She sure is moving through this life, sprinkling little bits of positivity and encouragement wherever she goes.
Xoxo - G
If you would like to learn more or donate, please visit the following organizations committed to helping children suffering from cancer. Let’s help them find a cure.
Cancer Fit, Inc. - http://cancer.fit/
Children’s Cancer Research Fund - https://childrenscancer.org
St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital - https://www.stjude.org
Make-A-Wish Foundation - https://wish.org/
