Janine - First-Time Mamacita in the Time of Corona
Imagine giving birth to your first baby this past year and being told your partner might not be able to join you during delivery or recovery? As the Coronavirus wreaked havoc in 2020 and changed the way many of us live, it undeniably left its mark on expectant mothers. Our April Mamacita experienced this emotional stress as she prepared to give birth to her first baby precisely one year ago. At that time, this virus was only a novelty without many facts to rely on, which made her feel confused and scared without the opportunity to enjoy the excitement of bringing new life into the world.
As we recently surpassed the one-year mark of a virus that upended the day-to-day lives of the entire world, we highlight this story of a first-time Mamacita who, through uncertainty, found the silver lining in her unusual experience. Janine is a Mamacita of one and a Speech-Language Pathology Assistant. She holds a Bachelor of Arts in Sociology and a Bachelor of Science in Communication Disorders and Deaf Studies. I do have to highlight that she is my little (but taller) sister and my forever muse. Working Mamacitas thanks you, Janine, for your determination and for allowing us to share your inspiring story.
IN HER OWN WORDS - as narrated to Gisset
My husband and I were married for three years before I got pregnant. If the choice were only mine, I would have been pregnant soon after our wedding. I was that girl who had major baby fever. Anytime someone would ask, "Do you want to have a baby soon?" My response was always, YES; I can't wait to have a baby and would love to be pregnant now. Even though I knew those days were not the right time, I didn't care; I manifested a baby into existence because it was something I truly longed for. In the summer of 2019, we found out I was pregnant. There was so much excitement from both our families, and we all waited for his arrival with anticipation. For the most part, I had a healthy pregnancy and enjoyed every bit of it. It wasn't until March 2020 when things started to change; the outbreak of the virus known as SARS-CoV-2 altered hospital policies and affected the way expectant mothers would give birth to their babies.
My in-person appointments with my doctor now took place over Zoom. Since the information about the virus was changing daily, I was not given reliable information about the delivery. I was due in early April 2020; at that time, there wasn't much data about the virus, which made the uncertainty about giving birth terrifying. My doctor told me that my husband might not be able to join me during the delivery or recovery because visitors were no longer allowed in hospitals. The nights leading up to his birth, I felt so much anxiety and was not able to sleep because of the unknown. I didn't want to do this on my own. When the day finally arrived, I checked into the hospital, and my husband wasn't allowed in at first, but eventually, they informed him he could be with me. There would be no ins and outs though from that moment until we went home with the baby.
Labor was everything I feared - it was long, painful, and exhausting. I was in labor for 23 hours and pushed for four; my baby was stubborn and did not want to leave my womb. I was told I couldn't keep pushing for much longer and would have to deliver via c-section, but my husband would have to go if I did. I started to cry and told them this wasn't an option; I wanted him by my side. It was at that moment when I realized how fierce Mamacitas are - I closed my eyes, composed myself, took deep breaths, and started to push harder than ever. I was numb and had no recollection of what was going on around me; all I heard were words of encouragement from my husband and I continued to push until I heard a loud cry. It was him, it was that little boy I manifested years prior, and he was finally here. Women always told me that the pain a Mamacita endures during labor is forgotten when you meet your baby, and they were right. Nothing else mattered but the three of us.
I was released from the hospital the day after I gave birth. I couldn't wait to take my baby home because even though we were in bliss, there was still a virus making its way through the world, which made me feel uneasy. My family was eager to meet our baby; they would stop by our home and meet him through the windows. It was weeks before anyone who lived outside our home held him, which made me feel sad and made my transition into Mamacitahood a little more challenging. My hormones were out of control, and I found myself crying a lot, mainly because breastfeeding was not a walk in the park. Breastfeeding was the most challenging part of learning to become a Mamacita. My sisters were there throughout my entire pregnancy, helping me understand the changes taking place in my body and sharing things they learned. I wished they could have been by my side when I was learning to breastfeed; instead, our sessions took place over FaceTime. It didn't help that I felt like a slave to his feeding schedule and was left feeling drained. But once I learned how to do it, it was magical and instantly felt a bond between us.
While learning to be parents, we started to face the challenges of how children change a marriage's dynamic. Now that we had a tiny human who took priority in our lives, we had to learn to find a balance and not forget to nurture the relationship we built. While pregnant, my sister told me one of the most challenging things about becoming a parent is the difference in perspectives. Each parent grew up differently, learning what they believed to be true. When you bring a child into the world, you think your way is the right way. My husband and I found ourselves having these discussions and shared how we felt and had to learn to find a middle ground in the process. Some decisions were more complex than others, and I realize this will be the trajectory of our life until our child is old enough to make his own decisions. I have to admit; there is something beautiful about having these discussions because we've gotten to know each other in a whole new way that has made our partnership so much stronger.
Stepping into the role of a working Mamacita was so non-traditional. Once my maternity leave was over, I started working from home just like many others throughout this pandemic. The first few months were difficult; as a Speech Pathology Language Assistant, my job is to help elementary-aged students with their speech impediments. Most days, I would breastfeed my son while on Zoom sessions with my students. I learned how to place my face and monitors so that the students had no clue what was happening on the other side of the screen. As the months went by, I got used to this new way of working. Now, after having my baby by my side for a year, I have to face the reality of going back to work in a classroom soon and am feeling a lot more anxious. I am learning how Mamacitas have to learn and adapt to an ever-changing life with children and realize that we all eventually adjust. The bright side is I enjoy helping students with their speech impediments and believe having them in front of me instead of on Zoom will benefit both of us. I know the future is brighter, and look forward to the many lessons I will learn.
For all the Mamacitas out there - even though some of us just started writing our stories, never forget how strong you are and how fierce you will show up in times of uncertainty. Love hard, live happily, and raise some incredible human beings.
As you can see, Janine is another fierce Mamacita. She is showing us that a Mamacita will dive into her new life with force and will do it her way.
To my forever muse, thank you for never saying no to all my creative ideas, for lending me your body and your gorgeous face to paint throughout the years. We will always create magic together.
Xoxo - G
